Why Some Men Chase After Independent Women
By Ella Bradley for Woman to Woman
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Men don’t like independent women, right? So you think! Many men have come around to appreciating women’s independence and liberation, especially in fast and developing societies, where it is no longer easy for one person to maintain the demands of family, financially. Not only that, the independent, successful woman is sexy and more.
Contrary to popular opinion, many men are not intimidated but are attracted to and admire independent and/or successful women. Some even chase after them! Why? They want an assertive woman who knows what she wants and knows how valuable she is. She must have a high self-esteem and sense of self-worth, and can appreciate herself and her man. Not only does she appreciate herself, she is happy with herself and by herself. She doesn’t need a man to make her feel good. All these qualities make her more appealing and sexy.
To the independent-woman-lover, her accomplishments are not a red flag but a magnet, drawing him closer to her. He is curious, wanting to understand what she’s like, how she thinks, how she plans her agenda, her life, and how she goes about achieving her objectives. He admires her even more if she is efficient at role-switching—a kickass corporate woman by day and a capable mother, wife, lover and friend by night.
What type of men are drawn to independent women
Curiously though, men who are drawn to independent women are said to fit into two general categories.
(1) Men who are themselves independent, successful and/or established
(2) Men who are “mama’s boy”: dependent and unsure of themselves
Men who are themselves independent, successful and/or established
These men may have an aversion for “high maintenance” women, women who require him to expend a lot of money and/or effort in order to make her ‘happy.’ This kind of woman is usually attractive, and goes to great lengths to maintain or enhance her appearance. She has to have perfect hair and makeup at all times and her nails done at least once a week. She prefers to relax in a salon or spa-type setting while getting a facial, and typically overspend on clothes and shoes.
These men have no problem with forking out the money so that their woman can keep looking good, because they are well-to-do financially and career-wise. But what this category of men does not want is to meet her every need out of pure obligation. He prefers to do it out of desire!
So to avoid this kind of drama, the already established and independent man chases after his kind—women who are independent and successful like himself. He sees this as creating a balance in the relationship, a level playing field, where both parties contribute time, finances etc., to the relationship based on desire rather than by requirement or need.
Men who are “mama’s boy”: dependent and unsure of themselves These men prefer a stronger type of woman. A man in this category wants her to sort of be like his mother in the relationship, but not necessarily to replace his mother. Men with no purpose or direction seem to be drawn to these women, in order to derive some sense of purpose, or to be inspired by these independent and successful women.
Whichever category he falls into, the independent-woman-lover feels that with this type of woman he has the “freedom” to do his own thing, without having to worry about having to be around his woman all the time. In fact, he can enjoy his sports or whatever hobbies, and also hang with his buddies, whenever he wishes. Similarly, she has her ‘own thing’ going, her friends, colleagues and social groups. She is not insecure or clingy because she is happy with herself, by herself. She lets him run on a long leash. They don’t need to be each other’s company all the time. This makes the relationship spicier when they get together instead of boring, from being in each other’s face all the time. And hey, whenever she needs something done, whether it’s her hair, face, nails, just about anything, guess who she turns to? Herself! LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS BELOW
What about those men who clearly avoid independent or successful women? Woman to Woman will tell you in a follow up article. Look out for it!
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Posted on August 20, 2010, in All Publications, Dating & Relationships and tagged independent woman, Men, men and independent women, men intimidated by independent women, men love independent women. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.