A Battered Woman’s Cry for Help: Let us Give Her Hope


I recently wrote an article titled, Why Judging and Blaming A Woman Can Worsen Domestic Violence”. The crux of the article was to say that society, i.e. family, friends, social workers etc, should avoid pinning the reason for the abuse and why she stays onto the woman.

Of course, I am not advocating that any woman should stay in an abusive relationship nor am I justifying her choice to remain.

After I published the article, I got some pretty good feedback. One particular woman from a prominent state in the United States wrote to me relating her own experiences. Married to her husband with whom she has a child, she tells me of the constant physical and emotional abuse.

Besides the battery, she questions why the police arrested and threw her in jail instead of him, on the same night she alleges her husband broke her arm.

She admitted slapping him during an argument which escalated. He called the cops after she was injured and they arrested her. I assumed she had since scrapped the marriage. Yesterday, I found out she is still married and living in the same home. She penned a letter that was, to me, horrific. I could feel her pain as I read.

She sounded incoherent at times and I knew she was crying out for help. So, I told her to pray about it and also that it’s best to leave because I’m afraid it would get worse. She replied, “I don’t believe in God and I cannot leave”.

Amidst these allegations is one sure fact—a woman crying out for help. I really feel sorry for her and I don’t know how to respond or what exactly to say to her now. I’m not a professional counselor or social worker, just someone with an interest in these kinds of issues, hoping to make sense amidst the madness some women face.

Please share your thoughts so she can read your views. Maybe coming from different people, she might gain the courage and strength to remove herself and child from the situation that is obviously causing her daily pain.

At the same time, we can all help women in the same situation by whatever little advice we can give. Not every woman is fortunate to have someone to tell her like it is without making her feel that she is responsible for what is happening, and for not walking out immediately. To leave is always the first option. To find the courage may be a different issue altogether.

Let’s have a real talk. Leave your replies. 

Life and Things Between, May 26, 2010


3 thoughts on “A Battered Woman’s Cry for Help: Let us Give Her Hope

  1. Rachel

    It’s good to see you focusing on these kind of problems that all women are at risk of. If not us, we most likely know someone who was abused. About this woman you write about, she has one choice. That is to leave her depressing situation. I dont know why a woman would find it difficult to leave such a man. He will never stop. When it comes to abuse,men are like pringles, once they pop they cant stop. Woman take your child and leave. Sorry about the way things are though.

  2. JustMe

    This is just a sad fact of life for many many many women. I agree with Rachel, her one choice is to leave. I know standing from the outside I might not understand the complexities of the problem she is facing but sometimes you have to call it a day and start over. You have to take care of yourself. No one else would for you.

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