Feeling lonely is a normal part of life, it’s just you being human. In fact, you’re not alone. Many people experience bouts of loneliness at different junctures of life.
Loneliness does not mean ‘alone’ as persons feel lonely even in relationships and marriages. Nevertheless, you may get frustrated and feel depressed, thinking of a way to deal with your sense of loneliness. “For some women these feelings seem to be so deeply ingrained that they feel overwhelming, almost as if they are an inescapable part of their identities, and it can seem impossible to maintain a healthy level of self-esteem.”
Whatever the cause of your loneliness, some expert tend to believe that there is some level of self-esteem factors that affect (a) how you feel and (b) how you respond to this state of being.
First, you should identify what is it that causes you to feel lonely so that you can appropriately direct your energy on closing this phase of your life.
So why are you lonely? Is it because you are single, divorced, in a rocky relationship? Or are you married or in a relationship but still feel like there is no one there to support you? What about your self-esteem, how solid is it?
Women with high self-esteem and who are less emotionally needy may feel less lonely especially in relationships because they are capable of re-directing their time and energy on things that bring them satisfaction. The woman of high self-esteem does not have to look to her partner for ideas, permission or validation. She knows who she is, the importance of connecting with herself and how to get satisfaction from what she does.
It is worthy to note that some motivational experts think feeling lonely is largely created by your perception of not being connected to the people around you. Because it’s merely a ‘perception’, you can easily change your state of loneliness simply by changing the way you see life and those around you.
Here are some other ways of dealing with loneliness:
- Avoid interactions with people who leave you feeling misunderstood, embarrassed, ashamed, humiliated, rejected, or betrayed.
- Get a pet. A cat, dog or even a fish. They can give you love without expecting anything in return and they surely won’t make you feel any less human than you are.
- Talk to a friend. It may be better to talk to some trustworthy person or friend rather than drown in your loneliness or put yourself at risk of depression.
- Get in touch with your spirit. Learn more about yourself.
- Love yourself more. See yourself as somebody so that even though you are alone you know there is someone you can depend on—YOU.
- Write. Keep a journal, write about how you feel and what will make you feel better, or anything, nothing, just write.
- Listen to motivational talks on the radio or CD, or, read motivational literature especially those on building self-esteem.
- Join community support groups or volunteer to help out at a shelter or orphanage—any kind of volunteer work that can give you a greater sense of purpose.
Whatever it is you choose to do, keep your mind and body active, create a distraction away from the things that caused you to feel lonely in the first place. Most of all, understand that the loneliness you experience will not last forever. Over time, it will subside then you can reach out of your cocoon and live again!
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Woman To Woman