First Date Tips and Tricks that can Make or Break a Future Relationship

by Stephanie Tru, Guest Contributor Woman To Woman and Admin of Young, Black &  Informed

Hello Ladies
– I’ve listed below my top ten tips for a first date. Noting that I say is law but I’ve lived and learned and want to share what I’ve done both good and bad. Lets go !!

Tips for a first date

1.) First impressions are very important as well as lasting so put your best foot forward. Keep your hair nice and neat. Nothing too over dramatic or high fashion. If you’re going to put extensions in keep it classy and make sure the color choice suits your skin tone. I can’t tell you how many men I’ve interviewed have said they instantly get turned off when a woman’s hair is “doing too much”. This could mean extremely long weave that mimics a rainbow. When it comes to hair and makeup, less is more. If you want to add a little length then cool but 12 inch extensions will do: not 18 inches! And let’s keep the colors within 1,1B,2,4. I’ll even let the 27, 33, and 6 slide but this is only if your skin tone matches those shades. On the makeup tip, don’t look like a china doll. It’s not grown and sexy to look like a whole other person in the morning when the makeup is not on. Makeup is to enhance and at best cover up imperfections: not to double as Lil Kim. Everything in moderation.

2.) Dress appropriate to where you’re going. Don’t show any cleavage or wear anything too revealing. You can cover up and still be sexy. Resist the temptation to put on your freakum dress. There will be a time and a place for that and a first date isn’t it. If the guy you’re out with can’t look across the table at you and envision you at thanksgiving dinner with his parents, family and friends, it’s a wrap. Most men have been told by their moms “Don’t you bring any trash in my house”. If you carry yourself in a manner that would bring shame to him rather than praise he’s probably not going to pursue you for a long-term commitment. Don’t strike out on the first date just because you wanted to be a bit sexy. Have some class and cover up. 🙂

3.) Keep your heels at a reasonable height. We all know what road girl heels are and they are under no circumstances acceptable on a first date. I hate to see women stumbling around because they are trying to get their “runway” on. I’m all for your attempt a becoming America’s next top model but calm that down on a date. That’s all I’m saying.

4.) Make sure you’re nice and fresh. Take a shower or bath before any date and don’t over do it on the perfume. A nice body mist will do just fine. Some men can’t handle really intense smells and you don’t want your date 50 feet away from you all night. My personal favorite is Vera Wang. Works every time. 🙂

5.) A beautiful smile is very attractive so make sure to brush and floss before your date. I like to carry a travel size toothbrush and mouth wash in my purse so I can freshen up after a hearty meal. This might seem like a bit much but men have told me they’ve run into plenty of women with the yuck mouth on a date and they appreciate the women who go above and beyond to keep that in check

6.) If you’re going out to dinner pay for the meal. “Oh no” most will say but trust me it will leave a lasting impression and will set you apart from all the other women your date has gone out with. This should be done genuinely and even if he refuses to let you go ahead and still offer. It says a lot about you and whether he ends up paying or not, he won’t forget the gesture. Most men have never gone out with a woman who offered to pay for anything. Yes, I understand that he’s the man and should pay but nothing is wrong with showing your date that you appreciate and enjoy his company. Rather than sex later on to show your gratitude for the lobster and wine just pay for the date. You notice I didn’t say pay half or pay the tip. It’s all or nothing. Go for the gold!! Again I say most men won’t let you but it’s the thought and good intention that sticks out. Differentiation is the key to getting your dream man to pick “you” out of all his other prospects he’s probably juggling.

7. If a man opens your car door when leaving somewhere, after you’re in and he shuts the door, reach over and open the door for him. It shows that your courteous and have manners. I promise this will get you a second date if it’s a good man. I’ve done this and it works every time.

8.) Under no circumstances do you have sex on the first date. I don’t care if you think you’ve met your soul mate. The quickest way to end up in a “jump off” category is to give up sex before a man has any real feelings for you. He won’t see you as being respectable if you do so. Most women who sex up a man on the first date don’t go on to run off in the sunset: Some do, but the likelihood that it will happen to “you” is slim. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Keep your legs closed. I know that sounds harsh but it’s all love.

9.) This is an old tip but hardly followed. Do not go into detail about your ex boyfriend. If you do and discuss it a little too long, with too much emotion you might give your date the impression that you still have unresolved feelings, and most good men will not take you serious if that’s the case. This is what men like to call baggage and being emotionally unavailable. Most men don’t want to hear anything about your ex. They might engage you but trust they’re out to enjoy time with you not hear you yap about your ex, how crappy he is or how you gained 20 pounds after the breakup. He doesn’t need to know all your business and why all your past relationships failed. Less is more when talking about your ex on the first date.

10.) If you’re on a really good date and neither one of you wants it to end DO NOT propose going to one another’s place to watch a movie or just hang this almost always leads to some sort of sexual behavior and it’s too risky. Y’all know what happens. You go over to his place or your place; you pop in a movie and get comfy on the couch. You might get 30 minutes in to the movie before he starts kissing you on your neck and offers to give you a “massage”. You’re tense, so you take off your shirt and let him go to work. Ok Pause. Ladies, you know damn well that you’re going to be thinking more thoughts than about tension in your back when his hands are all over you. Then he suggests you take off your bra because hey, he can really get to work if your whole back is exposed. Don’t fall for the bra trick. Before you know it he’s flipping you over and kissing on something else. Happens all the time and usually women have no intention of doing this type of stuff but hey, you get caught up in the moment. You want to stay respectable in his eyes and a respectable woman knows when to end the night even if she’s having a good time. Resist the temptation.

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One thought on “First Date Tips and Tricks that can Make or Break a Future Relationship

  1. Pingback: Personal Care 101

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