I am not sure how many of you are conscious, really conscious that you can go to God about anything. It does not matter which area of your life you desire direction. God is always there waiting on us to connect with him. Everything changed for me when I embraced the knowing that God loves me unconditionally.
I believe one of the things that have kept me in bondage was my fear of God’s wrath, fear of persecution—literally. I felt ashamed, as though every time I stepped out of line, at any moment, I would be struck dead or something terrible would happen to me. Several years later, I was able to share my concern with my Bishop on my quest for answers. One of my questions to him was, why were we not taught more about how to love God instead of fear Him, since we tend to repel what we fear in the natural.
As I began to seek God for myself, I was able to reassess and redevelop a new relationship with Him. I was in awe when I realized in spite of all my mistakes and wrong doings God loves me unconditionally.
So prayer became a constant in my life. In my thoughts and my heart I’m always praying and seeking God’s direction for everything. If someone comes into my life, my question are usually these: Why is this person in my life? What lesson am I to learn from the experience this person is bringing to me and what am I to pass on? Trust me, this does not always come first (keeping it real), “damn he is fine”. Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in the moment, his fragrance, his looks, his smile, the twinkle in his eyes, his perfect 6’3 structure. But when I am no longer in the face of temptation, you bet I talk to God, after all he is also God’s creation. God knows my heart and he certainly knows his.
I believe that I can know whatever I need to know, after all isn’t “the heart of the king in God’s hands”. I would ask Him to remove the veil and open my eyes, open my heart, and allow me to see the person before me for who he really is. I would ask God to reveal the hidden intentions. Not everyone is straight up about their situation and what they are bringing into your life.
If you know what you are dealing with, you are better able to decide if you want to be a part of the situation that is presented before you. You would be amazed at what you can discover with this approach. You don’t have to go digging through the individual’s private stuff or go asking everyone for information, though it is okay, but you really have to trust the person you are asking. This to me creates unnecessary drama or even more drama in your situation if it is a bad one. It can cloud your mind and thought processes, preventing divine revelation and direction. When you find yourself in a bad situation, when you need clarity and answers, the better thing to do is seek solitude, get quiet and focus.
Talk to God directly about your concerns and when it comes to Mr-appeared-to-be-perfect, do not be afraid to get all Judge Judy on him. Ask all the pertinent questions. What are your intentions? Where do you see this relationship going? What are some of the things that you like about me? (the superficial stuff is not important here, if you want a future with this guy) What are your plans for your future? Ask him the 101 questions.
Providing you are also clear about what you want from the connection, not every relationship is designed to lead to marriage. If he says he plans to head his own law firm and at 35 or 40 he is still hasn’t graduated law school, you know he is talking B.S and you know just what to do.
Look for the practicality in what you are being told. Be smart. Incorporate your listening and observation skills and with divine guidance you will know what you need to know. Be true to yourself and honour what you feel. Don’t think that you have to overly compromise to make a situation right. That mistake can become a life sentence of misery for you.
Don’t kid yourself into believing that things would change. See and accept the situation for what it is. Don’t see a pit bull getting ready to have you for supper and think it would miraculously change into a cuddly kitten. Yea right! Not even with promises. People rarely ever change unless God is directly guiding that change. Men often play on our weaknesses. They would go down on their knees crying and pleading for second, third and fourth chances, if you let them. Wise up.
Do not allow yourself to be pressured into any situation even by your own physical needs and desires. The flesh can be weak and in that weakness your spirit can be overpowered, overpowered to do something that is inconsistent with what you believe and stand for.
Your body has a way of tricking you into believing you absolutely must have. I have had experiences when I allowed myself to become anxious, instead of waiting to be called, I would call or I would go out of my way to be in place. My actions only placed me at a disadvantage as, more often than not, I never had a chance to know that the person was really into me. I always made myself available.
There is a book I read some time ago that cracked me up, to me it was based on playing games but as I developed my wisdom it made sense. In the early stages of courting, never give a guy the impression that you are always available, even if you are, not even for a telephone conversation. Make it your business to be busy, let him compete for your time. That is an attitude every smart woman need to adopt, even if she is casually dating. I have since learnt to step back and allow myself to be pursued, the times I was able to do this successfully was the most fulfilling experience in my relationship. I was in a place where I know that I was important, which always take me back to the idea “if someone is into you, spending time with you comes naturally”.
Speaking the word should not only be reserved for fighting demons. When anxiety steps in speak the word. My favourite: “DO NOT BE ANXIOUS ABOUT ANYTHING…” it works when you can take a moment and step back from a particular situation. You have more clarity as to what is before you. Remember, every situation is different, so you have to stay focused in order to always be on top of it.
Like everything else, it takes discipline. You may not always get it the first time, but by trial and error and persistence, you will be able to over come and master the art of trusting the wisdom within.