Your Don’t Date Him Girl List

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by Kristine Koch for Woman to Woman

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You see that guy? Don’t date him girl! Whew! Save yourself the drama and the definite heartbreak. How? Make yourself your very own DON’T DATE HIM GIRL list. This idea cuts both ways, meaning, guys are welcome to make their list too!

So what’s this list all about? It’s a custom list of all the qualities you wish to have in your date (future partner) and the qualities that are no-no’s.  Now, I cannot tell you what to put on the list; remember it’s a custom list to suit your own preferences—likes and dislikes, things you can live with and those you cannot. I wish I had come across the idea of the don’t him girl list earlier on. I could have very well saved myself some heartbreaks and unnecessary stress. But now, I am making my list. It’s not done yet but I can still give you a sneak peek. Absolutely not dating any guy who is:

(a) Married

(2) Separated

(3) Has children

(4) Was married before

(5) Controlling, jealous or show any sign of being abusive

Shall I go on? Okay, you think I’m paranoid but listen, right away I am starting off at an advantage, saving myself ex-wife and baby mama drama. Who needs that anyway? Relationships can be hard work, so why not shed some burden, even before you take them on. Of course, I love children and yes you may argue that I should not discriminate between men who have and have not previously married. And you are right. The sweetest, husband material may very well be someone who was married and or/has children. Me, I don’t care to find out. Not after my distasteful experience dating someone who was divorced and has children. Who said the next guy will be different? My answer: Who said he would…NOT… be?

Your, don’t date him girl, list should also have the things you are looking for in your date and future partner. Make it realistic. A good rule of thumb is to question whether you could be on your own list. For example, if I make a list that says I want a professional man (lawyer, doctor), but I’m a dog groomer, I’m probably not going to get that. Judge yourself by your list to see if it’s realistic.

You don’t need a guy who is driving a Corvette, Mustang, Bentley, Lamborghini, Maserati , right? You don’t. But if he comes with it, well let’s just say it’s a bonus. After all, you’re not a material girl, right?

Also, you may want to consider only dating guys who you can see yourself with on a long-term basis. Whatever you put on your list, remember this is your list, a list of things you want. It’s not a list of things that will make others happy.

How do you know if that guy’s qualifies according to your list? Well, see whether his qualities cover 75% of the things you are looking for in your Casanova. Otherwise, you shouldn’t waste time by spending it with guys you know are unsuitable for you. If you’re bored, read a book, take up dance lessons or go workout at the gym. Speaking of gym, it is a super good place to run into guys you can strike up friendships with, or them with you. Soon, you may be on your way to dating a guy that matches your criteria.

I cannot promise you I won’t breach the guidelines on my list and the same may apply to you. Despite that though, the list is a constant guide for you to know what you’re willing and not willing to tolerate, possibly reducing the risks of dating people who are likely to become just statistics.

Be sure to send us your, Don’t Date Him Girl, list at so we can share it around and see what is missing on each other’s list. From that Woman to Woman can make a consolidated custom list to share.  

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4 thoughts on “Your Don’t Date Him Girl List

    EboniPrincess said:
    September 2, 2010 at 12:21 am

    Quite interesting… I do agree with the idea of not spending time with someone you can’t see yourself with down the road, waste of time… LOL!!! If you are bored read a book indeed, spend time on you, prepare yourself for the ultimate… I truly believe that sometimes in order to get what you want you have to give up the things you don’t really want, I believe it is important to keep your path clear for what you really need… however, I don’t believe there is anything wrong with the “always make a friend” theory, since we are all some what connected… Nice article. Tks for the reminder

    iceboxx said:
    May 10, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    Do not date a boy (and yes, I said boy, because in the end they are little boys) who only has girl’s as their friends. The dude got no bro’s. That is something weird.

    rageandforgiveness said:
    October 22, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    Well said! I’m still seething over a guy who used me to get back with his ex-girlfriend. I’ve got to learn to spot the manipulative types!

    Erica Miller said:
    June 30, 2014 at 10:36 pm

    Well said! I had a crush on this guy but I saw his arm over a girl. When I confronted him, he said he had feelings for his ex and wanted to be friends. Now, I’m faking the friendship and get bright red when I see him with his ex.

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