by Kristine Koch for Woman to Woman
You see that guy? Don’t date him girl! Whew! Save yourself the drama and the definite heartbreak. How? Make yourself your very own DON’T DATE HIM GIRL list. This idea cuts both ways, meaning, guys are welcome to make their list too!
So what’s this list all about? It’s a custom list of all the qualities you wish to have in your date (future partner) and the qualities that are no-no’s. Now, I cannot tell you what to put on the list; remember it’s a custom list to suit your own preferences—likes and dislikes, things you can live with and those you cannot. I wish I had come across the idea of the don’t him girl list earlier on. I could have very well saved myself some heartbreaks and unnecessary stress. But now, I am making my list. It’s not done yet but I can still give you a sneak peek. Absolutely not dating any guy who is:
(3) Has children
(4) Was married before
(5) Controlling, jealous or show any sign of being abusive
Shall I go on? Okay, you think I’m paranoid but listen, right away I am starting off at an advantage, saving myself ex-wife and baby mama drama. Who needs that anyway? Relationships can be hard work, so why not shed some burden, even before you take them on. Of course, I love children and yes you may argue that I should not discriminate between men who have and have not previously married. And you are right. The sweetest, husband material may very well be someone who was married and or/has children. Me, I don’t care to find out. Not after my distasteful experience dating someone who was divorced and has children. Who said the next guy will be different? My answer: Who said he would…NOT… be?
Your, don’t date him girl, list should also have the things you are looking for in your date and future partner. Make it realistic. A good rule of thumb is to question whether you could be on your own list. For example, if I make a list that says I want a professional man (lawyer, doctor), but I’m a dog groomer, I’m probably not going to get that. Judge yourself by your list to see if it’s realistic.
You don’t need a guy who is driving a Corvette, Mustang, Bentley, Lamborghini, Maserati , right? You don’t. But if he comes with it, well let’s just say it’s a bonus. After all, you’re not a material girl, right?
Also, you may want to consider only dating guys who you can see yourself with on a long-term basis. Whatever you put on your list, remember this is your list, a list of things you want. It’s not a list of things that will make others happy.
How do you know if that guy’s qualifies according to your list? Well, see whether his qualities cover 75% of the things you are looking for in your Casanova. Otherwise, you shouldn’t waste time by spending it with guys you know are unsuitable for you. If you’re bored, read a book, take up dance lessons or go workout at the gym. Speaking of gym, it is a super good place to run into guys you can strike up friendships with, or them with you. Soon, you may be on your way to dating a guy that matches your criteria.
I cannot promise you I won’t breach the guidelines on my list and the same may apply to you. Despite that though, the list is a constant guide for you to know what you’re willing and not willing to tolerate, possibly reducing the risks of dating people who are likely to become just statistics.
Be sure to send us your, Don’t Date Him Girl, list at firstname.lastname@example.org so we can share it around and see what is missing on each other’s list. From that Woman to Woman can make a consolidated custom list to share.
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