Busted! Get the Scoop on People You’re Dating

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An Exclusive by Ella Bradley for Woman to WomanBookmark and Share

Man or woman, it can turn out to be a nightmare if you don’t really know who you’re dating. And hey, you never really truly know who you’re with, even after you’ve married, though dating for a while can give you a sense of who they are. With online dating especially, you can’t be too careful. You have to go into Private Investigation (PI)/detective mode and comb through whatever information you can possibly find. Even if you have to pay a few bucks to get basic information, it’s worth it and can go a long way in saving you from drama or harm.

My sister once met a man from another country. He was visiting on business, he told her. She was out having a social night with her friends at a local diner where he and his friends happened to be. He paid the waiter a tip to come across to her table to tell her he thinks she’s beautiful and wanted to get to know her. She was single and in the mood for a little bit of ‘innocent play’, so she agreed to speak with him. And that’s how they started talking.

He told her he was single, never married and had no children. He spoke of his work in the military as well as the business he owned. Apparently he was some high-profile guy, having bodyguards and all to escort him back to where he was staying. They met for breakfast the next morning and continued to be in touch after he left the country.

He disappeared for a while and then they were in contact again. He was excited. She asked him to update her on his personal life and he repeated the same information. Single, never married, not dating anyone, no kids. He invited her to visit him, in his country. She did, all expenses paid by him. The trip included a few plane rides and hotel stop-overs along the way, as she travelled to and fro, halfway around the world. She even flew first class! From that, she could tell he was making the $$$. My sister didn’t care about that though, she really liked him and hoped they could have some kind of future together. Everything went well with the visit. He picked her up in a Maserati, changed to his Corvette, took her to expensive restaurants and shopping centres and treated her like a queen throughout her stay. She was on a high, cloud nine to be exact. He was a total gentleman, opened the car door, pulled her chair, even called her “ma’am”—okay, well he was military, so that was part of their vernacular. But it was all too good to be true.

When she came back, she realized he was defaulting in his communications with her. I had a bad feeling about all of it, so I told her to Google him. She was like, “Google who”. I repeated, “Google your mystery man”. She looked at me as if I was crazy, so I Googled him instead. I typed his name in the Google Search bar and a few results came up with his name alongside a woman’s, whose last name was the same as his. I got excited and curious all at once. You see, I like playing police and thief and I love when I catch a criminal! Anyway, I dug and dug and found out that he and this woman had gone on a charity run in his state. After that, I couldn’t get further information, so I spent a few buck at Intellius.Com and got enough information to form a logical conclusion. His name showed up with addresses in about 6 different states, and several in at least one state. When I queried under the woman’s name, Intellius revealed to me that her addresses were the same in number as his and matched all his addresses too, and that they were RELATIVES of each other! Wow!

I paid a few bucks for more info. You see, I like to get to the bottom of things—me, a sleuth, by nature. Her age was one year younger than him and the information showed how long they were living in the same household. They were living together from the year before he met my sister, 4 years earlier, and they were husband and wife! Then there were two other names showing up as relatives under both of their names. Apparently, the man has two children! With his home phone number also given, we made a call to the house and the answering machine told us that the “John’s (not the real name) family was unavailable, please leave a message.” Since when one man is a classified as a “family”? I broke the news to my sister and she went bizerk! She immediately contacted him and ask him who was the person (woman’s name). The man freaked out and told her not to “mess with my family.” Oh yea! He suddenly had a family. After that she left him alone and out of shame he never contacted her again, except to say that she had gone too far. She did nothing but tried to know who she was dealing with, especially since they were from two different countries. He could have been a criminal for all she knew.

You see, you can never go too far, so long as you don’t break the law, to ensure that the person you are dating is as real as they want you to think. I know many other men and women found themselves in similar situations. I know of cases where people don’t disclose that they are married or have children, or have a criminal record. Ok, fine, who wants to go around advertising they were booked or jailed for some crime? But you’ve gotta take your head out of the sand, and I won’t sugar coat this: People who do this are those just looking for a fling or want to hurt you in some way or the hurt other—emotionally or physically, you name it.  Beware! Be smart. Use technology and stay ahead of their games.

Other useful search websites:

  • Spookio.com
  • Zabba search
  • Usa-people-search.com
  • Public-record-now.com
  • Peoplelookup.com 

And of course Intellius.com, where my sister’s mystery man got busted!

Has this ever happened to you? LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS BELOW

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE Online Dating: Risks and Rendezvous

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3 thoughts on “Busted! Get the Scoop on People You’re Dating

    Almostlostmymind said:
    November 24, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    OH wow!!! So totally true. These stories are so familiar. I remember so clearly as it happened to me I almost lost my mind, several years ago I met someone through friends also we corresponded with each other for a year before becoming involved, he said he was divorced at the time, told me abt his 3 children. Found out several years later by then I had a daughter by him, that he was still married. This was 15 years ago, now technology is so advanced I say use it to your advantage. One has to be very cautious, people are not always who they say they are. Ladies and gents open your eyes, especially if you are opening your heart.

    People Details said:
    November 27, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    Great post and sooooo true, you never know these days!

    I'm Not a Playa/Just Crush Alot said:
    November 29, 2010 at 10:28 pm

    I will say this and many men will agree, the worst kinda woman is the one that sneaks behind a man’s back trying to see if she can find out *hit about him. If I find a woman doing that to me I will drop her on the spot no matter how strongly I feel about her. I also think those kind of woman have insecurity issues so no matter what you do to try and make them secure, they will always want more. For example: I once dated a woman long distance and let her call me every morning to make sure I didn’t oversleep the alarm (which I will do) and to prove to her another woman was not in my bed. I also allowed her to call me everynight to say goodnight. All that to show her I was not messing around on her. Guess what, the young lady called me in the middle of the day one Saturday and after several attempts to get me, I answered the phone and told her I had fallen asleep on the couch watching college football, which was the truth. I was sleeping when she called. Nonetheless, she swore I had a woman there because I have never sleep during the day when she was there. YIKKES!! Conclusion: No matter what you do, it will never be enough for an insecure woman. So do me a favor, ask me whatever you want and if you catch me in a lie then you can do whatever you need to do to protect yourself according to the article, becuase if you lie once you will lie again. Until then, do snoop behind my back you catch me in a lie or something is just suspiciaous to a reasonable person. the other kind of women hate are women who rummage through your stuff when you are not there. A woman cannot say she wants a man who will respect her if she does not show him respect. Another thing, an insecure women either have “daddy cheated on mommie” issues or she is “projecting” her cheating heart onto her man so that it appears that he is the one with the problem.

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