Mr. Moms.

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Father and young daughter having a tea party.

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A lot of men have come in for heavy, angry criticisms from women especially for the simple fact that they have not stepped up to the plate to be either a father or a ‘good’ father.  And I don’t blame these women, but there are definitely some roses among the thorns. I’m talking about those wonderful, caring fathers who have stuck by their kids through thick and thin.

I recently spoke to a new colleague of mine, a guy in his forties. In our start up conversation, I came to learn that he is a single parent. Okay, so what, right? Well that in itself is always impressive to me—when I meet or hear of men who are raising their kids without the mother. Not that that’s an ideal situation, but in these instances, these fathers may have been given custody of their children by the courts or may have chosen to raise their children because the mothers are simply not interested or ran off elsewhere. Surely, where the mother is rendered mentally incompetent, unfit to raise the children or is deceased, we can understand why a man will be raising his kids single-handedly.

More so, it is an eye-opener to me in cases where courts grant full custody, or any type of custody for that matter, to the father and not the mother. The courts generally use the welfare of the child guidelines to decide who gets custody, and from the cases I have read, at least in my jurisdiction, mothers tend to be favoured over fathers, especially when young children or girls are involved. So, that the father was granted custody tells me, without getting into the finer details, that this has to be a ‘good’ man, at least in the eyes of the law.

So as I said, I was speaking to this “Mr. Mom”. Soon enough I discovered that he was raising his four children, a mixture of boys and girl and had been raising them alone for the past 10 years! His youngest child was just a baby, 6 months old, when he took custody of them all. I didn’t bother to pry in order to figure out what happened to the mother but I realized that she is still pretty much alive. Whatever happened, kudos to this guy.

He and his family do pretty much everything together. Eat, pray, vacation, you name it. And from the little interactions we had subsequently, I realized that the children are well raised and are great company to him.

This reminded me of my own father. A great, great dad. I am not exaggerating. A man who was not afraid of the responsibilities that came with having children.

While these Mr. Moms make the world a better place because of their dedication and commitment to sticking by their offsprings, they are not to be seen as redemption tools for those who have fallen short of the mark.  Hats off to all the Mr.  Moms! You are definitely a constant reminder that there are some wonderful, sensitive and caring men who are not shy to take on their responsibilities as fathers and mentors to their children.

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All rights reserved, July 25, 2010

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2 thoughts on “Mr. Moms.

    Anonymous said:
    July 25, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Would love to meet one of these Mr. Moms. Yeah guys dont jus provide food n shelter we need love n attention. We need family time n i dont mean watchin tv i’m talkin about playin games, plantin a garden, cleanin z yard, cookin n eatin together, sharein wit each other good n bad experiences. All dis wil mak kids feel comfortable talkin to u about anyting. Come on guys u can do better

    Lori said:
    April 1, 2013 at 10:05 am

    My neice is very successful in the banking field, and had a stay-at-home husband who was raising their two children and her daughter from a previous relationship–everyone was so impressed that he didn’t mind that she was so good at providing all of the money for their beautiful house in a fancy neighborhood, and of the rest of the material goodies. Well. long story short, he eventually flipped out at a large party that was held at their house because someone (a girlfriend of hers) snapped a pic of her kissing a male friend on the cheek–he flew into a rage and tackeled her to the ground in the driveway, choking her and screaming that he couldn’t stand her cheating ways anymore (she had never cheated on him and wasn’t having any online romances either), until another man, a neighbor, pulled him off of her. He afterwards went to all of their neighbors that they were friends with and lied and told them he couldn’t help himself because she cheated on him–which was just pure bunk.

    Anyway, they’re divorced now.

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