For some older women in their late thirties to mid-forties, being able to date younger men is quite a compliment let alone an accomplishment. If you are a “Cougar,” there are a few things to bear in mind when dating a younger man to avoid blowing it.
- Be open minded
Approach dating a younger man knowing that you likely have accomplished and experienced more than he did. This is because you have a longer history. With this in mind, avoid making him feel less than you by repeatedly telling him you know “everything.” This doesn’t mean that you should downplay your accomplishment. However, make him feel like you are interested in his experiences and that they are important to you. Speaking of experience, he is likely to have more energy and a higher sex drive. This should not cause you to worry that he will leave you for a younger woman at some point. Many young men enjoy the maturity of a woman and her knowledge of love and intimacy.
- See your age as an advantage
Keep in the back of your head that this young stud is with you because you are older. He sees you as attractive and values what you bring into his life in terms of experience and stability. Catching a fit when you and your man in the presence of younger women shows signs of insecurity. Similarly, trying to keep up with fashion trends of the younger girls, drinking and partying hard and trying to maintain a skinny figure by becoming a gym rat can be a turn off. Maintain your cool and confidence, wear age-appropriate clothes and enjoy going to age-appropriate places and events. This will make your cub glad he chose you. This way he gets to enjoy a richer more mature experience than if he was dating a teen or young adult gal.
- Make him feel like the boss
Whether or not you’ve accomplished more than him, have a better job, own a house, or drive a better car, your rule of thumb is to always make him feel like he’s the boss. A man’s confidence is built on his ego. He wants to know he has worth to you. You can express his value in your life by allowing him to do things that men generally want to do for their woman. If he chooses to, allow him to pick up the tab at dinner. Let him drive you to your destination. Allow him to make important decisions. Let him initiate intimacy sometimes. Your submission will blow his mind and make him feel wanted, every time!
- Don’t try to be his mother
Even though he appears to be just a boy, resist the temptation to speak to or treat your young man as if he is your son. Avoid talking down to him or correcting his knowledge or grammar. Things like always telling him what to do, cleaning up after him, checking in on him often to see if he is “okay,” and always paying his bills can make him feel like a child. Even though he may be less financially stable than you, you don’t necessarily need to be his “sugar mama.” This can be an insult to him and make him feel less of a man. It can also push him away, since men generally prefer women who are less bossy and more submissive.
Avoid these pitfalls and you should be on your way to a long-lasting relationship with your young cub!
Copyright, Woman to Woman 2017