Olivia J. Scott
Trust in romantic and intimate relationship gives a couple a sense of security, allowing them to rely on and be vulnerable to each other. It engenders acceptance, love, honesty, happiness, and commitment. These values are wrapped in the three dimensions of trust which allow couples to predict each other’s behavior, depend on, and have faith in each other, as found by, professors of psychology, John K. Rempel and others, in their study, Trust in Close Relationships.
It Helps You Predict Your Partner’s Behavior
When couples can predict each other’s behavior, they are better able to satisfy their curiosity about questions, such as, “Can I trust my partner to listen to me without judging; to love and respect me; and to be loyal and faithful?” “Will my partner be there for me if I’m in trouble or the future becomes uncertain?” It may take months or years to answer these questions with a confident, “yes,” but, surely, happy and successful marriages and relationships survive and thrive on trust and knowing what to expect, says, love and marriage experts, Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, in their post, The Foundation of Love and Trust.
You’re Okay Depending on Each Other
Reliance comes when the couple sees that statements and promises are carried out. Couples who are confident that the relationship is, by itself, treated as valuable by a partner who honors his or her words and promises are not afraid to (trust) depend on each other, writes, Rempel and his colleagues. By then, the relationship might have been tried and tested. Knowing what behaviors to expect and the fearlessness to depend promotes emotional security and a desire for deeper commitment. Inconsistent behaviors only destroy faith, which is a cornerstone of trust, and weakens emotional security says, psychologist, Richard Nicastro, in his publication, Secure Relationships: The Role of Emotional Safety.
It Gives Reassurance in Crises
Faith is believed to be the most important aspect of trust. When partners can predict each other’s behavior and depend on each other without doubt, their belief and confidence in each other and the relationship are strengthened. They feel confident to share their innermost feelings, knowing what is shared will be valued and treasured, writes, marriage and family therapist, Ashley McIlwain, in her article, Trust is a Must: Why Trust is Important in Relationships. The couple also feels emotionally secure and can easily put their doubts aside, in spite of conflicts and crises, with the reassurance that their partner will continue to be caring and supportive, whatever the future holds.
Motives and the Level of Trust
Using a Trust Scale in their study, Rempel and his colleagues found that the level of trust depends on how much a couple can predict, rely on, and have faith in each other. When a relationship is driven by external, self-serving motives, such as gaining social status or business connections, the level of love and trust is low, compared to when the relationship is valued and cherished, with or without the perks. If a partner realizes that the relationship is based on selfish gains, it lowers the level of trust, causing him or her to question whether the relationship will survive if the rewards are no longer there.